In my bathroom column, I questioned why my wife never had toothpaste remains in her sink. Or on the mirror or on her towel. How is this possible? Sometimes, I scrape off the dried toothpaste blobs in my sink and use them for breath mints.
As for the living room and dining room, I wrote about picking out colors for our new carpeting based on the decorating bestseller, 50 Shades of Beige. I also admitted that in my home office my prized possession, a signed cartoon strip by Charles Schulz, was probably a forgery.
I’ve written six columns concerning the kitchen — about expired food, toaster ovens, microwaves and how to properly stack plates in the dishwasher. I have never written about our bedroom because there is no funny stuff going on in there. Hmmm … I may need to rewrite that sentence.
I hope to get out more in the next few days so I can gain more insights for my next column. No matter where I go, someone will frustrate me or drive me crazy. I sure do look forward to it.
Dick Wolfsie is a television news reporter, syndicated humor columnist and author. He can be reached at Wolfsie@aol.com.