Of course, I thought she was just in a daze looking up at the ceiling, so we were both wondering why we paid 40 bucks apiece to be totally bored.
The other problem with the tape was that they tried to time the narration with what was a normal person’s speed of walking, so it was only after I fell down three steps and crashed into a mahogany credenza that I was cautioned to “Watch my step.” At one point I turned the wrong way in a corridor and bumped into Mary Ellen.
The audio was telling me that what I was looking at was a true original but was in need of some restoration. I never told my wife why I was laughing.
We are back home now and Mary Ellen is enjoying her leisure time. She’s even started cooking again. The other night she prepared a delicious meal and asked me if I would mind carrying the dish out to our back porch. I was happy to oblige, but I wish she hadn’t made me whistle.
Dick Wolfsie is a television news reporter, syndicated humor columnist and author. He can be reached at Wolfsie@aol.com.