There’s only one reason for marriage

May 13, 2008 11:33 am

— It’s time for the summer wedding crush to begin. Last year, I conducted 18 weddings, and every ceremony was special. There were spills, shrills, thrills and even some chills — but I can’t write about those because the guilty are living within earshot, and I’m not ready to make a final exit.
Fortunately, the world away from home is full of bizarre news. In March, for example, Tulsi Devipujak, a 22-year-old bride from India, despairing over her lover’s accidental death when he fell into a well, insisted on marrying his corpse. Wedding attendees sat the corpse up and chanted some marriage prayers before cremating his body.
Although illegal here in the states, a marriage to a corpse isn’t unique. One of my sisters married a live, worthless corpse of a husband about 20 years ago. Since she lives 700 miles and three states away, I get to vent. And yes, his irresponsibility still chaps my buns, just in case you couldn’t tell.
Jenna Bush, one of the president’s twin daughters, tied the knot over the weekend in Crawford, Texas. CNN did not send correspondents, People magazine did not snap a picture for their cover and the paparazzi did not buzz the ranch while hovering in a helicopter. In contrast to Lynda Bird Johnson’s White House wedding in 1967, Jenna chose to keep her nuptials low-key.
That’s too bad for the president because history shows that a presidential wedding can do wonders for a sagging popularity rating, and no president has sagged more than Bush since the Great Depression.
Then there’s the 26-year-old Cuban lady who apparently can’t refuse a romantic proposal. Eunice Lopez was arrested in Florida after she married her 10th husband. There’s nothing illegal about marrying multiple men, unless you forget to divorce their predecessors first, a step Lopez conveniently skipped over.
Lopez arrived in Florida from Cuba in 2002 and became a legal resident. Her marriages helped to secure immigration status for each of her 10 husbands, all Cubans, who entered the states illegally. In return for tying nine too many knots, Lopez received a monthly stipend from each groom. Had she registered at Wal-Mart instead of taking cash, the feds might never have caught her.
The Hindustan Times reported that a 33-year-old groom, identified only as P. Selvakumar, married a female dog to atone for stoning two dogs to death 15 years earlier. Selvakumar complained about his bad luck to an astrologer who suggested that he marry a dog to reverse his bad fortune. For those who care, the “bride” wore an orange sari to offset her flower garland.
In spite of the age of information, people still choose to marry for all the wrong reasons. Some do it for money, some for the sex without the accompanying guilt, and some for appearances. But there’s only one legitimate, biblical reason to marry: “And the two shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24, NIV). Any other reason is a departure from the Divine plan.
Tony Thomas is a church pastor, a high school basketball coach and author of “A Smidgeon of Religion.” He can be reached through the newspaper at ptnews@pharostribune.com

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