June 13, 2014

[friday]: Adventures in babysitting

Adventures in babysitting

Our regular [friday] columnist, Sarah Einselen, is on vacation. That means you’re stuck with me. I’m not sure what you’ve done to deserve that, but it is what it is.

But don’t fret too much — everyone is punished at some point in life. The transgression for which we’re being punished may be so far removed that we’re not quite able to link up the punishment and the crime. And often that leaves us wondering if the punishment far outweighs the crime.

I, too, endured a punishment over the weekend, and I’m still trying to figure out what I did to deserve a weekend worth of “babysitting” a 15- and 10-year-old. I can’t think of any injustice I committed that would warrant such aggressive punishment.

As a single gal without children, I’m not used to spending extended time with children. I have watched my nieces and even had them spend the weekend at my house, so I thought an extended weekend with two boys can’t be that much different.

Wrong. I was so very wrong. Watching boys is nothing like watching my sweet, innocent, little girls. It was an educational weekend, to say the lest.

I learned this weekend that boys rough-house. They’ll throw each other across a room and think nothing of it. They pinch, and they shove, and they smack, and they tackle, and they yell, and they fight. If you even looked at one of my nieces cross-eyed, she’d probably cry. You pinch one of them and you’d need a towel to soak up the tear-filled puddle on the floor.

I learned that boys can eat. And eat. And eat. One night for dinner, I was throwing some chicken nuggets and fries in the oven. I asked the older boy how many chicken nuggets he wanted. He yells back 15 or 20. I yelled back, “No, really? How many do you want?” Turns out he wasn’t kidding. And later, as I was getting the fries out of the oven, you’d think I robbed a bank the way they looked at me. In disgust, they asked why I didn’t make the whole bag of fries. Yeah, boys can eat.

I learned that boys have bodily functions. I don’t need to say more on this one, so we’ll just leave it be.

— Misty Knisely, fill-in [friday] columnist / not renewing her sitter’s license

Text Only | Photo Reprints
  • [friday]: Behind the scenes at 'Shrek' Sometimes you just gotta have an accent.This week has been a busy one for the children and teens involved in Junior Civic Theater. Almost every night has been some kind of rehearsal. I sat in for part of Tuesday’s tech rehearsal and chatted with a fe

    July 25, 2014

  • "Hercules" movie poster Movie preview: “Hercules”

    Plot: Having endured his legendary twelve labors, Hercules, the Greek demigod, has his life as a sword-for-hire tested when the King of Thrace and his daughter seek his aid in defeating a tyrannical warlord.

    July 24, 2014 1 Photo

  • "Lucy" movie poster Movie preview: “Lucy”

    Plot: Writer/director Luc Besson helms this action-thriller that tracks a woman who falls prey to sinister underworld forces, but gains superhuman abilities that allow her to strike back at her oppressors.

    July 24, 2014 1 Photo

  • Music-Eric Clapton [Duplicate] [Duplicate] Eric Clapton says thank you to JJ Cale with 'The Breeze' NASHVILLE, Tenn. (AP) — For Eric Clapton, the early 1970s were filled with drug addiction, personal difficulties and growing dissatisfaction with music. Singer-songwriter JJ Cale rescued him and gave him a direction, though the man known as the main

    July 24, 2014 1 Photo

  • Jamie Kennedy live in Kokomo this weekend Actor and stand-up comedian Jamie Kennedy said he's excited for his first-ever trip to the City of Firsts — a place he has heard only one thing about. He laughed Wednesday night, saying the only thing he's heard about Kokomo is that it's home to a pl

    July 24, 2014

  • Film Review Lucy [Duplicate] [Duplicate] Review: 'Lucy' won't stretch your brain capacity So let's start with the enticing premise of Luc Besson's "Lucy," starring Scarlett Johansson: Human beings only use 10 percent of their brain capacity. Imagine what it would be like if we could access all of it? Well, wow. It would be sort of like ..

    July 24, 2014 1 Photo

  • TV-CBS-Colbert [Duplicate] [Duplicate] CBS says Colbert keeping CBS' 'Late Show' in NYC NEW YORK (AP) — Stephen Colbert will not only be following in David Letterman's footsteps, he'll be doing it on the same stage. CBS said Wednesday that Colbert, who is replacing Letterman as the "Late Show" host next year, will keep the show in New Y

    July 23, 2014 1 Photo

  • No romance for 'Downton Abbey' in-laws, say actors BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. (AP) — Michelle Dockery and Allen Leech of "Downton Abbey" say Cupid's arrow is not headed for their characters. While talking to a TV Critics' panel Tuesday, the actors said they find it "very funny" some fans are hoping for a

    July 23, 2014

  • Film Review-Magic in the Moonlight-3 [Duplicate] [Duplicate] Review: Allen casts a limp spell in 'Magic' Woody Allen's late period has been defined by a quality you wouldn't have expected from the man who produced the inspired chaos of "Bananas" or the Fellini-esque carnival of "Stardust Memories": tidiness. For years now, Allen's films have been light

    July 23, 2014 1 Photo

  • Film-Old Directors-3 [Duplicate] [Duplicate] Working late in life, directors refuse to say cut Visiting a retired Frank Capra at his Sierra Nevada hideaway, Clint Eastwood was baffled. "I always thought: 'He could be making a film right now. He's as lucid as could be. Here's the great Frank Capra not doing it,'" Eastwood recalled of the famed

    July 22, 2014 1 Photo

Hyperlocal Search
Premier Guide
Find a business

Walking Fingers
Maps, Menus, Store hours, Coupons, and more...
Premier Guide

The Pence administration continues to cut Indiana agency budgets despite a state surplus of $2 billion. Is this wise management of state funds?

Not sure
     View Results
Featured Ads
AP Video
Raw: Air Algerie Flight 5017 Wreckage Virginia Governor Tours Tornado Aftermath Judge Faces Heat Over Offer to Help Migrant Kids Kerry: No Deal Yet on 7-Day Gaza Truce Kangaroo Goes Missing in Oklahoma More M17 Bodies Return, Sanctions on Russia Grow Gaza Residents Mourn Dead Amid Airstrikes Raw: Deadly Tornado Hits Virginia Campground Ohio State Marching Band Chief Fired After Probe Raw: Big Rig Stuck in Illinois Swamp Cumberbatch Brings 'Penguins' to Comic-Con Raw: Air Algerie Crash Site in Mali Power to Be Restored After Wash. Wildfire Crashed Air Algerie Plane Found in Mali Israel Mulls Ceasefire Amid Gaza Offensive In Case of Fire, Oxygen Masks for Pets Mobile App Gives Tour of Battle of Atlanta Sites

Click HERE to read all your Parade favorites including Hollywood Wire, Celebrity interviews and photo galleries, Food recipes and cooking tips, Games and lots more.