Pharos-Tribune

September 20, 2013

FRIDAY: Send in the clown (nose)


Pharos-Tribune

---- — I don’t claim to be an expert on bike riding. I just own the coolest bike in the county. But don’t ask me for advice on what to wear to a bike ride.

As you know, last Saturday, I planned on riding along with whoever else showed up for the 2 Rivers on 2 Wheels annual bike tour. That meant getting to Riverside Park before 8 a.m. So I started the weekend by losing at least an hour of sleep I’d rather have kept.

Not only that, it was brrrrrrcold on Saturday. Did you open your front door then? If not, lucky you. It was about 40 degrees out. That’s the same temperature you’re supposed to keep your refrigerator at.

I was going to be pedaling my way through a county-sized refrigerator. Talk about extra-large.

You know how the folks that restock the milk in grocery stores dress? Fleece vest, sweatpants, gloves, thick hat? Yep. That’s about what I looked like. Next I’ll be wearing a Martin’s badge. “Hi!” I’ll say through chattering teeth. “C-c-can I help y-y-you f-find anyth-th-thing?”

You’ve got to understand, I don’t deal with the cold very well. I’ve lived about eight months of my life in air conditioning — and I actually enjoy 80-degree heat. Temperatures at half that just aren’t my thing.

I was pretty happy when the weather had warmed by the time the ride started. Well, warm enough that I could take off my gloves after I got about 6 miles out. Warmth is all relative.

And boy, was it gorgeous out. I had my sunglasses on, looking all cool, but through them I could hardly keep my eyes on the road and off of the trees-corn-beans-flowers-houses-gravestones-birds-moreflowers-pothole-oops-swerve … you get the idea.

Only later did I realize my sunglasses would leave their mark.

Sun has this nasty habit of getting under my skin (literally). I’ve talked to it before. “Sun, it’s time you grew out of this. I’ve been patient, but if you do it one more time, I’ll tell your father!”

But nope. Sun, being his adolescent self, enjoys playing the pyro with my skin.

I came home and caught sight of myself in the mirror after lunch.

I took off my sunglasses.

I looked like a mime. Or a clown. I certainly had big white circles where my eyes should’ve been ... plus a bright red nose.

And now my clown nose is peeling off (gross, huh?). Remind me next time — I need a dab of sunscreen on bike ride days. Even ones that start out at refrigerator temperatures.

Sarah Einselen

Friday editor / still loved the bike ride

sarah.einselen@pharostribune.com