Pharos-Tribune

Entertainment

March 21, 2014

[friday]: Not a fizz whiz

Who invented pop, anyway?

I’d like to be the person that woke up one morning and said, “Hey! I think I’ll shoot my fruit punch full of gas today and see what it tastes like!” It must be interesting inside that head.*

My Little Friend visited me last weekend to help me make supper. We had a sort of spaghetti dinner. But you don’t read my column to find out what I had for dinner. That’s what Instagram is for.

After eating, I suggested we make something to drink — to wash down all that starch, you know. So we made some pop.

You read that right.

Basically, there’s this thing called the Internet. Giving me access to the Internet is like sitting a 2-year-old in front of Grandma’s candy drawer. Nothing good can come of this. Especially if you randomly search for “fun things to do with kids.”

There are oodles and oodles of children’s science experiments on the Internet, most of them involving magnets, lemons or a 9-volt battery. Every time I pick up a 9-volt I’m tempted to lick the terminals. Just so you know, in case you ever decide to perform regular maintenance on my smoke detectors.

Turns out, you can make your own pop using water, some baking soda and a lot of sugar. And a lemon. (What did I tell you?)

My 9-year-old Little Friend and I squeezed the guts out of a pair of lemons and mixed the concoction. I thought half a lime might be a nice touch, if only for the chance to squeeze the guts out of yet another poor unfortunate fruit.

I felt like Merlin mixing a potion to wake up Snow White. Or something like that. I didn’t always listen in children’s story hour.

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