Pharos-Tribune

Columns

September 6, 2013

WOLFSIE: The lull between seasons

(Continued)

There are advantages to this clothing transfer. You get to learn a lot about your basement that you never knew. Just last year, when I was digging for my wool sweaters, I came upon an odd-looking thing on the wall that my neighbor said contains something called circuit breakers. I had never seen this door before because my pale blue leisure suits were draped over the metal box and had hidden it from view. Apparently, circuit breakers are important in an emergency if things get too hot. That’s the way I feel about my leisure suits.

I also found my tax records from l978 in a mildewed storage box on a top shelf behind three pairs of gray flannel pants stuffed in a torn lampshade. I remember that ‘78 was the one year I kept really, really good records, so I hope if I ever get audited by the IRS, they pick ‘78. I think I could impress them with my accounting acumen and classic fashion sense, especially if I wear those pants, which are also from ‘78.

I found some high school term papers inside a pair of rubber galoshes. I read the first two or three essays and was impressed with what a good writer I was when I was in high school. Then I realized these were term papers I had assigned when I was a teacher and never got around to returning them.

I just had a great idea. This year I’m not going to switch my summer clothes for my fall and winter clothes. I’m going to move my bed down to the basement. That seems a lot easier.

Dick Wolfsie is a television news reporter, syndicated humor columnist and author. He can be reached at Wolfsie@aol.com.

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