Pharos-Tribune

Columns

May 17, 2013

WOLFSIE: Writing on the walls

Sometimes when I am trying to think of an idea for my column, I just stare at the wall. That’s not a bad thing, because on the wall in my home office is a collection of special pieces of memorabi-lia that inspire me to write, reminding me of the talented people I have had the privilege to meet.

SOUPY SALES PHOTO: I have friends who have snapshots of themselves standing next to world leaders like Ronald Reagan, Mother Teresa and Bill Clinton. I can do better. You can’t see my face in this photo in my office because Soupy Sales deposited a pie in my kisser after he exited an elevator at a downtown hotel and grabbed the creamy projectile out of a waiter’s hand. The premise was pre-planned, but the TV segment was shot live and perfectly timed. The result was sweet.

LETTER FROM STEVE ALLEN: I always revered Steve Allen. In 1988 we did a show together to commemorate the opening of MGM theme parks in Orlando. During the interview, I imitated one of his classic TV bits when he would get irate at stuff in the news and throw the paper down in mock anger. Two weeks later, I got a personal note from Mr. Allen saying that he had seen the video and thought it was “very funny.” I only look at that letter when I wake up every morning and before I go to bed.

ART BUCHWALD DISPLAY: When Art Buchwald was in a hospice in 2005, I wrote a story about how he influenced me. I sent him a copy of the piece along with a photo of us together in 1968 in his Washington, DC office when I was a humor columnist at George Washington University. Buchwald responded to my letter by sending the column back with his autograph and a note: “Glad you made it as a writer…I was sure you’d be arrested for holding up 7-Elevens.” All my Buchwald memorabilia is now in a huge frame, including some of his signed book jackets and the original pictures of us. How big is the display? My wife wants to take it down someday and install a bay window, instead.

GARFIELD DRAWING: After I interviewed cartoonist Jim Davis, he left for a meeting. But I had forgotten to ask him to draw Garfield as part of the taped segment. His assistant called Mr. Davis, who then graciously turned his car around and came back to his office to do the drawing for me. This always reminds me what a genuinely nice guy Mr. Davis is. No fat cat, there.

CHAMPION BEAGLE: Cartoonist Gary Varvel celebrated the winner of the 2010 Westminster Dog Show with a drawing of the winning pooch in sunglasses standing by a newspaper stand that heralded his victory, the first time a beagle had ever taken top prize. The caption: Joe Cool. Gary sent the original to me in memory of my old pal Barney, who never won a ribbon…just a few thousand hearts.

Finally, I have on my wall a signed comic strip from cartoonist Charles Schulz, a thank-you gift from his corporate office after an interview. I asked a friend who is an autograph expert to appraise it. He told me it was probably not Schulz’s signature, but was signed instead by his secretary. How much is it worth? Peanuts, he told me.

Dick Wolfsie is a television news reporter, syndicated humor columnist and author. He can be reached at Wolfsie@aol.com.

1
Text Only | Photo Reprints
Columns
  • KITCHELL: Tax bills show what smoke & mirrors don't There's a price to be paid for the decline in what we call civic engagement -- and local property taxpayers are paying that price. In case you haven't received your 2014 Cass County property tax statement yet, be prepared for a bit of sticker shock w

    April 23, 2014

  • MARCUS: Illinois brings joy to Indiana From the email this week, I sensed a profound need by Hoosiers to find joy in the problems of Illinois. Our neighbors to the west are fighting their way through a mess of their own making. They have forced themselves to raise taxes and cut services t

    April 22, 2014

  • VILLAGE IDIOT: Wait a minute here — what did I just sign? When Dr. Sam said, "You've got the prostate of a 16-year-old," it was hard to keep from beaming. This must be how a woman feels when a complete stranger tells her she has a beautiful baby. Well, maybe not quite. Still, it was hard not to feel proud o

    April 22, 2014

  • LYONS: How we devalued the 'R' word At the risk of angering somebody like MSNBC's Melissa Harris-Perry, I sometimes used to joke that I only look white. Actually, I'm Irish. Meaning basically that I wasn't raised to think the man in the big house had all the answers, nor deserved all t

    April 21, 2014

  • HAYDEN: Want better teacher ratings? Ask the kids The state may be back where it started, encumbered with a flawed teacher grading system, a year after implementing what were meant to be tough new standards. That was the general consensus of the State Board of Education days after teacher evaluation

    April 21, 2014

  • KNISELY: Adventures in cat spaying If you're a regular reader of this column, you know I have a cat. I got the cat to deal with the mice. Even if you only pop in on this column from time to time, you still likely know I have mice and that I hate them. I complain about it quite regular

    April 20, 2014

  • GUTWEIN: Strengthening Indiana for Hoosier veterans America's legacy was built on the foundation created by our brave service men and women. Whether they defended our nation's borders overseas or assisted Hoosiers during the harsh winter months, we need to do everything we can to make Indiana the best

    April 20, 2014

  • CEPEDA: Baseball's sacred temple Call it a character defect, but I don't like baseball. And I especially don't like the Chicago Cubs -- losers I never found lovable. I grew up less than a mile west of Wrigley Field and games there represented summer-long inconveniences such as midda

    April 20, 2014

  • HOWEY: Doctors Brown and Bucshon become seekers Seated across the table from me at Cafe Patachou were Drs. Tim Brown and Larry Bucshon. Dr. Bucshon was a heart surgeon from Newburgh. Dr. Brown is an emergency room physician from Crawfordsville. What made this breakfast meeting extraordinary is tha

    April 20, 2014

  • WOLFSIE: High-tech got you down? I love where I bank. It's a branch inside of a big supermarket. I can make a modest withdrawal and then go and blow every last penny in the cookie aisle. The tellers at the window appreciate me. They know about my obsession with round numbers and und

    April 18, 2014

Hyperlocal Search
Premier Guide
Find a business

Walking Fingers
Maps, Menus, Store hours, Coupons, and more...
Premier Guide
Poll

Should mushroom hunters be allowed to forage off-trail in Indiana state parks?

Yes
No
Undecided
     View Results
Featured Ads
AP Video
Bon Jovi Helps Open Low-income Housing in Philly Pipeline Opponents Protest on National Mall Hagel Gets Preview of New High-tech Projects S.C. Man Apologizes for Naked Walk in Wal-Mart New Country Music Hall of Fame Inductees Named 'Piles' of Bodies in South Sudan Slaughter New Yorkers Celebrate Cherry Blossom Blooms SCOTUS Hears Tv-over-Internet Case Justice Dept. Broadening Criteria for Clemency Chief Mate: Crew Told to Escape After Passengers 'Miss Meadows' Takes Holmes Back to Her Roots Biden: Russia Must Stop Talking, Start Acting David Moyes Out As Manchester United Manager Raw: Leopard Bites Man in India Iowa College Finds Beauty in Bulldogs High Court to Hear Dispute of TV Over Internet Stowaway Teen Forces Review of Airport Security
Parade
Magazine

Click HERE to read all your Parade favorites including Hollywood Wire, Celebrity interviews and photo galleries, Food recipes and cooking tips, Games and lots more.