“See you just made my point. You just called me Weird Mr. Wolfsie.”
“No I didn’t. I said this was weird then I paused and then I said Mr. Wolfsie.”
I explained one more time that finding this comma was crucial to being precise and avoiding confusion and that I was not going to be happy without a comma key on my phone.
“When was the last time you used a comma in a message Mr. Wolfsie?”
“Well last week I texted my wife a list of things I wanted her to get at the supermarket: hot dogs beans soda apples lettuce potato chips cookies canned soup.”
“Did you punctuate that sentence correctly?”
“Of course I’m very punctual.”
“That’s a lot of commas for one text. Which plan are you on?
“Wait a second. You’re telling me I get unlimited minutes but not unlimited commas?”
Another tech guy came over to help me. We weren’t really making any progress so the store manager finally stepped in to assist and said to his employee: “It’s your lunch hour why don’t you go eat Joe?”
I don’t know who Joe is but apparently he’s very tasty.
Oh, wow, I just figured out where the comma key is. Apparently, I inadvertently switched to the Canadian keyboard on my smart phone, which does not have a comma in some versions. But wait, now I seem to be missing another punctuation mark. Not the whole thing, thankfully, just half of it.
(You’ll never guess which one.
Dick Wolfsie is a television news reporter, syndicated humor columnist and author. He can be reached at Wolfsie@aol.com.