FESCUE FLIP FLOPS
No, Fescue was not a character on the Beverly Hillbillies. These are flip-flops where the inner sole is made of artificial turf so that when you saunter down the street, you feel like you are walking barefoot in the park. Hey, I have a better idea: make a flip-flop with the artificial grass on the outer sole so that you can feel like you are walking on artificial turf with your shoes on. I need to go on Shark Tank.
FOUR-BOTTLE BEER GLASS
Here’s a fun item for men. It’s a pilsner glass that holds four bottles of your favorite brew. It looks like a giant see-thru Borg Warner Trophy. What a cute idea — a way to appease your spouse who has told you to cut your beer guzzling down to one glass a day. Yes, if there’s one thing you can count on, it’s a wife with a sense of humor about your drinking problem.
NIGHTTIME ARTHRITIS PAIN-RELIEVING GLOVES
These gloves exert a gentle pressure on your hands, facilitating blood flow, reducing swelling and improving mobility. For seniors still eager for a little action, it’s the perfect gift for a fledgling romance. And every señorita knows the allure of little black gloves. The description cautions that before ordering your size, you should measure your hand around your gnarly knuckles first. Sexy, huh?
I still have six more items to make fun of. Maybe next week.
Dick Wolfsie is a television news reporter, syndicated humor columnist and author. He can be reached at Wolfsie@aol.com.