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Columns

November 6, 2013

PARKER: Advice columnist to GOP

Ms. Know-It-All, the anonymous political advice columnist whose identity remains a popular Georgetown cocktail party guessing game, is also known to live up to her title now and then. Herewith a correspondence worth sharing.

Dear Ms. Know-It-All:

It appears that the witch Hillary Rodham Clinton is going to run for president. It makes my skin crawl to think of her and that husband of hers back in our White House, not to mention that they are Marxists like Obama and want to turn us into Sweden, for God’s sake. It’s not too soon for Republicans to marshal our forces for a little shock and awe when the Hildebeast finally announces. How can we stop her?

Signed, A proud, God-fearing, right-wing wacko-bird.

Dear Wacko:

Thank you for what seems to be your sincere interest in participating in our country’s health and welfare. And thanks, too, for contacting me because you need to hear what I have to say. You might want to sit down for this. If you’re on anti-anxiety medication, all the better.

You are, how shall I put this? Idiot seems too strong, so I’ll go with foolish little man. “The witch Hillary”? Yes, I saw the little photo on Drudge with Hillary wearing a witch’s hat. Clever! And on Halloween, too. The headline suggested that someone somewhere should be upset that she earned close to $500,000 for two speeches for Goldman Sachs.

I do believe I detect the scent of envy. Is that the best you’ve got? I don’t think I heard you folks express outrage when Sarah Palin was paid $100,000 a clip, and she was just a short-term governor and a failed vice-presidential candidate. Ronald Reagan once was paid $2 million for two 20-minute speeches by a Japanese manufacturing company.

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