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October 18, 2013

WOLFSIE: Ain't got no body

I started reading Golf Digest when I was in high school with the hope I could increase my scoring average. It didn’t help, so I finally canceled my subscription last year. Same with Playboy.

I was browsing through the magazine rack at a local bookstore and saw the October issue of Mess magazine. Actually, it was Muscle and Fitness magazine, but Arnold Schwarzenegger’s photo was positioned in front of the publication’s name and his huge head blocked out all but four letters. In one of the articles, the former governor and body builder (who has graced the cover countless times and is now the executive editor) refers frequently to loving his MF magazine, not quite the charm as the abbreviation for Gentlemen’s Quarterly.

In small print at the bottom of the magazine’s cover is a note that states the picture of the world’s most famous body builder has not been digitally enhanced in any way and that the muscular arms shown are 100 percent the result of Arnold’s efforts. The same cannot be said of his face, which is 50 percent the work of his plastic surgeon. The cover also says that on page 57 you will learn how to add one inch to your own arms. That interested me because right now I am just shy of reaching the crock pot on the top shelf in the kitchen. I began skimming the pages and noticed that men refer to their beefed-up biceps as their “guns.” And that is why they believe in the right to bear arms.

Editor-in-chief Shawn Perine also heralds the importance of a good mental attitude when it comes to physical fitness. “All growth starts with your head,” says Shawn, evident by the Terminator’s noggin on the front cover.

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