Whatever it was that got in my nose and made me sneeze 42 times in a row. This is just an estimate, because you don’t start counting sneezes until you realize it’s the beginning of a historic run…and then it’s too late. Belches and hiccups you start counting from the very beginning.
The entire Jewish population of Sweden who became outraged that there was pork in their moose lasagna, meaning it was not 100 percent Kosher. Or as my rabbi would say: Not Kosher. The company pulled the pork-tainted casserole off the shelves, which made it even more popular, because, after all, who doesn’t like pulled pork?
And finally, on a serious note, a thank you to myself for resisting the advice of a well-meaning emergency care veterinarian who recommended seven months ago that I put my then-ailing beagle to sleep because he probably only had a few days to live. I have to go now. Toby wants to go for a walk.
Dick Wolfsie is a television news reporter, syndicated humor columnist and author. He can be reached at Wolfsie@aol.com.