Trust me: do not ask me about the lettuce.
There is also an entire page called “What’s Your Bacon IQ.” Here you can challenge yourself to tough multiple choice questions like:
What part of the pig does jowl bacon come from?
The answer is “cheeks.” What we don’t know, however, is on which end of the pig we find these cheeks.
The big survey in the magazine is: Do You Like Your Bacon Crisp or Not Crisp?
The result was 62 percent said crisp and 28 percent not crisp.
There are now bacon-of-the-month clubs: They deliver a different kind of bacon right to your door, along with recipes and ads for the latest bacon products like bacon rub, bacon-flavored envelopes and bacon-flavored lip balm.
I am now thinking of joining either Bacon Buddies or Pork Pals: both have five-star ratings. I had been with a different group, but my wife didn’t like my getting emails from “The Strip Club.”
Finally, we learn stories of bacon obsession, like the bride who carried a bacon bouquet shaped like roses. There’s the university that gave out cooked bacon as fans entered the football stadium, and how about the annual St. Patrick’s Day Parade race in Wisconsin where they set up bacon stations?
Yes, this craze is a sickness. Ironically, no one wants to be cured.
Dick Wolfsie is a television news reporter, syndicated humor columnist and author. He can be reached at Wolfsie@aol.com.