“You walked him near a lake? I hope you didn’t let Toby get too near the ice!”
“OK, Heidi, but listen. So Toby is about 30 feet ahead of me and…
“What? You didn’t have him on a leash? Who walks a beagle without a leash?
“Not the point of the story. So all of a sudden he takes off—”
“His feet were probably cold. Don’t you have booties for him? By the way I hope you didn’t have to chase him with that bad knee of yours.”
“LISTEN TO ME, HEIDI! This lady is walking out of the store and tells me that Toby got into the supermarket and I imagined he was howling at the butcher. And, yes, I know you are thinking of cutting out red meat, Heidi, but I really want to finish my story.”
“So I walk up to the counter and tell the woman that my dog is loose in the store and I ask her to get on the PA system to see if we can locate him. You will never in a million years guess what the woman said to me before she made the announcement.”
“I assume she wanted to know what kind of dog it was.”
Dejected, I put down my phone and decided that I was only going to relate my future experiences through the written word where I can make my point clearly without being interrupted and losing my train of thought. Hold on, there’s the phone. It’s Heidi. She wants to know why I prefer Kroger to Marsh.
Dick Wolfsie is a television news reporter, syndicated humor columnist and author. He can be reached at Wolfsie@aol.com.