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February 19, 2014

KITCHELL: Eel reveals peculiar winter visitors

(Continued)

“Amazing phenomenon,” I said. “Never heard of such a thing.”

“This big fella,” Ray said as he netted a 20-incher from the hole “is known as a speculates monicus. We call it the ‘Money blowfish’ because this species of the Ackwards Bass swims upstream to places where money is being spent in the wrong way.

“Why would it be here?” I asked.

“I don’t really know your community that well, but from what I gather, it’s probably because of the plans to build luxury condominiums behind your Walmart,” Ray said. “Mind you, I’m just a fish guy, but Mother Nature is intuitive about this sort of thing in ways we aren’t. I’m just saying.”

“What’s backwards about this?” I asked.

“It would seem if the city had annexed land along a four-lane highway with a college campus nearby that that area might be ripe for some kind of housing, or your downtown where I understand you’re losing your Eagles Club. Then there’s that new park we saw here off Chase Road … I believe it’s Huston Park. It would seem to have some nice vistas along the trail by the hospital and the Eel with a park and trail nearby.”

Then Arnie pulled another gilled bass from the water and seemed excited to see it was what he called a “contradictus taxius policus.”

“This one turns up where local officials say they welcome tax relief after they’ve approved tax increases,” Arnie said in a voice level that made me think he didn’t want anyone else to know he’d landed this one.

“Let me take a stab at this,” I said. “Is this species maybe here because the city annexed land south of the city which will raise taxes on everyone, yet the city is supporting eliminating the business personal property tax to help business?”

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